THE MANRESA DIARIES, PART 7
Things to bring next time:
- Travel coffee mug
These little ceramic mugs don’t hold enough coffee and don’t travel well from the basement up to my second floor room.
They seem to be the footwear of choice around here. By the end of the day my feet are feeling suffocated and want to be free. Even Fr. Bernie wears Birkenstocks!
This morning’s meditation time kinda rocked me. I think for a little while I moved from the “monkey mind” distractions level to the psychological distraction stage. I have been using “Abba, Father” as my mantra and every once in a while I’ll catch a glimpse of my dad in my mind’s eye when I say “Father” to myself in prayer. It’s kind of a strange distraction. I don’t want my image of God to be shaped by my dad but maybe God wants to redeem that image and relationship. So I notice the distraction and return focus to my sacred word. Before long, my mother comes to mind. This hurts me because she dies a few years ago and I instantly start thinking about how much she would have loved her Granddaughter. I realize this isn’t a place I should hang out at for too long so I notice, offer it to God and return to my mantra. I don’t want to fight these images off but rather return simply to the love of God. But then another issue from my past pops up.
I hesitate to write it down because then it’s out there in a way it never really has been before. During this time the peace of God was present. And maybe it’s even nudging me to explore these issues later with a spiritual director.
What a foreign world I’ve jumped into. It’s a world of quiet peace that takes me to deeper places of myself and of God. It’s a world of Birkenstocks and talk of Saints. It’s a world that draws me to the heart of God in some amazing ways.